More Wandering Thoughts

Two days in a row, are you surprised?

Thank you for the lovely comments on my knitting, ladies. I'm looking forward to this year's County Fair, but don't have a "wow" project like my book that won Champion of the Cross Stitch department last year. I'm entering as many projects as possible to boost the Fair entries; they've been quite low the past few years from what I understand.

Lisa commented that while she reads my Facebook updates, she feels my blog entries are more personal. I never looked at it like that, as I saw Facebook & Twitter as a tool to keep in touch when I don't have enough time to write blog posts. Then again, writing blog posts is just a matter of making time for it.

I don't feel like I had much "free" time this summer.  I went to North Carolina in June, where I had the Vacation From Hell. Not only did I get sick while there, but the management company, in retaliation (IMHO) for bringing Kasey, who is a service dog-NOT A PET (they have a strict "No Pets" policy), charged my friend $288 to vacuum the carpet in the unit. We've been trying to fight the excessive charge to no avail as of yet.  To top off the wonderful (that's sarcasm, folks) trip, 30 minutes into our drive home, I get pulled over doing 70 in a 55pmh zone and get a $160 ticket. Honestly, no lie, I'd looked down at the speedometer a minute before and saw it was at "12 o'clock" and said to myself, You're only doing 60.  Not!  I still wasn't completely with it and saw that 60 was to the left of the needle without realizing the needle was on 70. I'd already spent the weekend with a person I can't stand (not my friend who owned the timeshare), puked my guts up, hardly eaten, and spent 3 days of a 4-day trip in bed, and then I get a friggin' ticket trying to get the hell home.  OH! And I had so much fluid retention, I couldn't even drive all the way home. I had to sit in the passenger seat of my own truck with my feet resting on the dash to try to relieve some of the pain.  I was miserable for the next few days, and Chet died four days after I returned home.  Altogether, it was the Week From Hell.

That vacation was the end of my summer course, too.  Because Geology and the accompanying lab were four hours long, three nights in a row per week, my feet began to swell and the fluid retention gradually got worse, to the point it was painful to walk or stand. By the time we left for NC, I'd been to three weeks of classes.  My dialysis docs were at a loss as to why I'd gained so much fluid so quickly (4 kg/8.8 lbs) and had solution other than to keep my feet elevated.  My overall well-being was suffering by that time. It became apparent that I had to drop the class, so I did.

Within a week of dropping the class,  I lost 3 kg (6.6 lbs).  Since then, I've lost even more because I've cut back on my Wawa Lemonade Tea.  Shocker! I know.  Not only am I saving money, but also I'm hoping to be able to fit into my trousers again.  Everything except two pairs of khakis, which are cut large, is too tight. I got fed up when I realized I had over a dozen pairs of capris that I couldn't wear during the end of the summer.  Just by cutting back on my Tea addiction, I've managed to lose almost 2 kg (4.4 lbs) more.  I'm drinking water instead, but I've had two dehydration episodes since then.

The worst bout was last night, when I lost about a liter of fluid in less than two hours. I couldn't drink enough, fast enough, to keep up with the fluid loss and was awake most of the night with severe cramps in my legs, hands, and feet. Potassium didn't help; I tried that.  I even grabbed my tin of grey salt and ate some of that to try to help.  When I got to dialysis this morning, I asked for a bolus dose of saline to replenish the 0.8 kg of body weight I'd lost, as I knew that was about how much fluid I lost the night before.  I received 1.1L of fluid during my treatment, all to no avail as it turns out.  By the time I left, I weighed the same as when I got there.  I'd already lost the entire 1.1kg of fluid.  It's frustrating, but that's how my body works.  I'm trying to balance my need for tea to keep up my electrolytes and my desire to lose a few more pounds in order to fit into the rest of my wardrobe.  It's going slowly, but it's going.

Marilyn asked a couple of questions in her comment, and I'd like to address them now.  First, she wanted to know if my cross-stitch stash was packed safely away.  The answer to that is yes and no.  My FSOT stash is in a box because I don't have room to unpack it.  My personal stash is in my 5-drawer lateral file cabinet.  It's not sorted in any way, shape, or form; I simply grabbed stacks of charts & kits and put them into hanging file folders as they'd fit.  Since I know I'm not going to stitch for quite some time, I sold all my Weeks Dye Works and Gentle Arts Sampler Threads to a friend of mine.  I couldn't justify hanging on to them for the next four or more years when I knew I could get over $200 by selling them for $1.50 per skein. I was shocked when I told Carol they were going up for sale and she said she wanted them all.  It did save me the trouble of having to list them by color on CraigsList or having to ship them, though.  I have some kits and charts that I will never part with, as I am clinging to the belief that I'll get back to stitching one day.  Marilyn's second question was about my health.  Overall, I'm doing well, despite the dehydration scare last night.  I did have to have a stent placed in my dialysis graft two weeks ago.  The graft wasn't clotted, but the flow was severely restricted and it was affecting my treatment efficiency. I felt well enough after dialysis to take Kasey for a walk.  We even made it to class tonight.

As I was driving somewhere around Annapolis last week, I started thinking about the underlying reason for me no longer stitching. I can't remember what got me onto that thought path, but I was startled by my conclusion. I remembered looking at my Ravelry project page, where I have all my projects from 2009 listed, and I saw my stitching and needlepoint UFO's.  Reflecting back on looking at them, I realized that I had absolutely no enthusiasm to see any of them completed.  Seeing them made me want to look elsewhere.  Then it hit me: I've simply stopped enjoying the process.  Making x's or pulling the needle back and forth through the canvas is not fun and relaxing for me any more; now it stresses me out.  I remember a friend saying that knitting garter stitch drives her bananas.  No matter how a knit project is constructed, I enjoy the process of creating it.  Maybe once I stop enjoying that process I'll go back to my other needlework. Who knows?

I had my Women's Health Issues class tonight and told my professor that getting back to blogging on a regular basis was my De-Stress Project activity.  While I love reading Facebook status updates and comments from my friends and family, I think Lisa is right: blogging is more in depth, and therefore more personal.  I have more than a 500-character box I can fill. *evil grin*

I was driving to Uncle Wes's house on Saturday and saw this guy in the truck in front of me.  I couldn't resist taking a picture (while I was stopped). Newfies are such gentle giants, and this guy is chocolate-colored, which I haven't seen much.  I was a little disturbed that he was riding without restraint or a harness, but I won't get on my soapbox on that subject. Only consider this: how far is an unrestrained 150+/- pound dog going to fly if you're in an accident? I rest my case.

Thank you all for taking the time to visit Crossed Purposes. I hope you'll be back soon.  Please feel free to leave comments and/or ask questions.  I'm going to make an effort to answer more of them in my posts rather than by private emails from now on.  If you don't want me to answer a question publicly, please be so kind as to indicate that. I'm not going to publicly call someone out for their view. I simply don't publish comments I find offensive or disturbing.  It's my blog; that's my prerogative.

I also have some house-keeping to do with links, blinkies, and other pages, but that will have to come later. I'm planning on using my winter break to re-vamp Crossed Purposes to reflect the shift in focus from XS to knitting.  I've been fighting with myself about whether or not to remove Chet's name from the header of CP and replace the picture of Kasey & Chet with one of Kasey alone (My Guardians, in the sidebar). It feels like a betrayal in some way; like the 12 years he spent with me have no meaning or value, when that couldn't be farther from the truth.  Any thoughts from other furbaby parents?